I am a former academic and current amateur philosopher and artist. I’ll give you the world and everything in it. The rest is up to you.
This blog is about the daily process of a philosophic and artistic project that was born from the mental illness that led me in 2016 to seek a disability retirement from my job as a biomedical researcher and professor.
The premise of the overall project is to imagine that there is a God and he is human. He directs a simulator in which we live and he communicates with older races telepathically. He choreographs a secret group of body-jumping spirits in the direction of global affairs. He plans the development of human colonies in space. He designs new life forms for future human-built simulators. He designs and directs an as-of-yet unrealized Utopia within this simulator, and he coordinates communication between simulators inhabited by older, telepathic races and the newer human-like races who do more of their thinking by communicating through sounds and symbols outside of the brain. The purpose of the project is to do the work of this God. Therefore, the project involves philosophy, myth, politics, science, art, and more.
This project developed from the symptoms of a psychiatric disorder I began experiencing in 2000 while working as a postdoctoral fellow in the biomedical sciences. The disorder has been labeled bipolar disorder, a schizoaffective disorder, or probably most appropriately, a delusional disorder. My beliefs have morphed over time, but they have always seemed to develop in a progressive logic. With the help of modern psychotherapy, I have been lucky to mostly remain grounded in reality and self-critical. Occasionally my delusions lead me into uncontrollable, mad behavior. I become an entirely different person, and my experience of the world becomes magical. Those moments of madness have become more frequent over the years, and this led to my early retirement from academia. Now I find that tackling the delusions head-on and giving them a controlled life diminishes the frequency and severity of those moments of madness. This project is a bridge between creative madness and cold reality.
On this blog, I will share information about my process for developing the final products of this project. I will share the things I am learning, the methods I am using to learn, and some of the creative off-shoots of the process.
I publish free regular articles on Medium about how we use thinking structures to create delicious mental, emotional, routine, cultural, and societal lives. Join me there for that content.
The final creative fictional products of this work are available via semi-annual newsletters (January 11 and June 11) through a Founding Member Substack Subscription.
I hope that you enjoy the Vexed Thinker project! It is my hope that through the lens of my psychiatric disorder we can find a creative, yet serious, way to think about issues confronting as individuals and members of human society.
Darren Roesch, The Vexed Thinker
I would like to acknowledge that the final inspiration to share my work was derived from the books of Austin Kleon. If you are not already familiar with his work, I urge you to check out his blog.
Links provided to supplies, resources, and books are purely for your convenience. I receive no commissions for your clicks or purchases.